Realisation

Today, I realised something incredibly surreal about the way life works.
If I were to die, and people then read this blog...well...pretty much all of them would have no clue right? Someone could be sitting at home, reading these words I so rashly type without really thinking them through, and I could be six-feet-under or just mere ashes.
It's sobering.
I guess that death has never really seemed like a real thing to me. It's something that only seems to happen to other people, and that I'm just a spectator, and that I always will be.
We see it happen, I see it happen on the news, read about it in the papers, hear stories through friends, experience family members passing, and yet I can't seem to come to terms with the fact that one day my own consciousness will be snuffed out.
It's like some sort of sever denial, which only leads me to think that maybe something's not right about me. I don't know, I hate pouring out my deeper thoughts onto the internet. Everything I say or do online is normally some shallow crap I write to make other people smile, or to try and provent other people from wiping those same smiles off others faces.
Because, and I know this is going to sound like I'm either crazy or weird, I love nothing better than to see people happier than I am. Simple as that. It's not that I like being sad, I just want others to enjoy their lives. As I wrote just a few lines above, the thought of my own death is alien to me, it's like some stupid myth that my mind tells me will never come around.
But I know it will.
Even if it doesn't seem real yet.

-Hannah


"I got as close to nowhere as I could get and found out that it was more of a place than anywhere I've been in a long time." – Hank Green

"I'm not drowning. There's no one here to save... Who died and made you king of anything?" - Sara Bareilles (King of Anything)

"People just don't like to believe in something they can't see unless it's a God they themselves created," - ?

Don't Panic

deviantArt Doesn't Like Me Right Now...

So I'm going to submit my new art here today! Hereeeeeee we GO!


Woot! Realism! These aren't the only eyes I drew, but they're the best. The order I drew them (including ones not shown here) are (left to right): 1, 3, 2, 5
I like the top two the best


A doodle page I did yesterday. The image in the top left has been recoloured on the computer now, and it's posted below.
Top left: Maria + Dmitri
Top right: Lima
Left, second from top: Up (the cake is a lie!)
Bottom: Some random comic involving America insulting England's cooking, then England bashing his face in >3<
(No offence my amazing American friends, I love yooouuu)



Another doodle page, all of them done in my two hour shift at the library when I had nothing to do.




A digital colouring of a character sketch I did at school. Evidence suggests I can't draw straight lines.


Another design done the same way as above, only this one is older. But I like this one better >3<



Finished this one TODAY maybe 20 minutes ago. This is how I learnt deviantArt isn't letting me upload (stupid bloody...*murmur murmur*). Also, Lima isn't really meant to be interacting with the background, hence the reason it looks like she's floating...

I'm so flipping proud of this one!


Toodles!
-Hannah

And THAT is why children irk me!

Dear Lord, that had to be the most annoying shift at the library I have EVER had to experience.

Okay, backstory time:
I'm not what you'd call a "people person". I'm not very sociable, I prefer to hang out with a small group of close friends and I don't make new friends easily. I can talk to people, but I'm always at a loss for what to talk about but I feel the need to have a long conversation because otherwise it feels awkward. Starting and ending conversations is a difficult thing for me to get my head round. Also, due to my rather twisted and cynical sense of humour, I find it hard to converse about a lot of topics. Despite me being a girl, I find it neigh impossible to talk about make-up and boys and whatever, because I find them all together rather stupid topics to be filling ones time with. Thus, my small group of friends who have similar interests to me. No, they aren't all in the same mindset about people as I am, but I get along with them.
Despite to my lack of "people person"-lyness, I don't like strangers to think of me as impolite or hateful. Sure, I can throw the odd angry insult at people I know, but strangers I can't deal with like that. I feel that if I anger them it will one day come back and bite me in the arse.
So I prefer to act kindly around others, and especially children. Now, this is slightly problematic. Young children like to have their own way, and being the person that I am I find it difficult to say no or at least discourage them. Thus, my supreme hatred of those much younger than me, and my mild dislike for those who I am 2-3 years senior to, and my extreme discomfort around those my age.

Now you know my mental state, I'll let you know what transpired today.
*flashback noises*
I was sitting in my little booth having just arrived for my two hour shift. During this summer, I'm working on the reading challenge booth, aimed at people 5-11. I can normally deal with myself feeling uncomfortable though, since I only have to talk for a few minutes and what I have to say is pretty much routine.
But today it was different. Today was apparently "let-two-young-girls-wander-aimlessly-around-and-then-let-them-attach-themselves-to-the-person-who-is-most-uncomfortable-around-them-while-you-enjoy-not-caring-what-the-shit-they-do" day.
The first one to come over was bad enough. She looked about three, and she spoke in a slightly slurred way that made it neigh impossible to understand what she was saying. I caught the words "card" "pencil" and "draw" as single word sentences, so I had no clue what she was going on about. She was still there when girl no.2 came over. She was four, her name was Daniella.
She began talking to the girl already there like she was her sister, so I assumed she was. They were both too young to start the reading challenge, so I continued to doodle in my book whilst they conversed. Then, the woman who I assumed was the mother of both these children came over. She was mildly distracted by my drawing ("Did you just draw that?" "Urm, yes" "No! Really? It's good" "T-thank you" Another thing I'm easily flustered over, flattery. However much I want people to see my drawings, I hate them commenting that they're good. I'm such a contradicary little fart). Then she began talking to Daniella, who then walked away with her. Girl no.1 was still there though. She was there for another 10 minutes before her actual mum, an Indian woman, came and took her away.

On the outside, I smiled and said "Byyeee" like the flustered hermit that I am.
On the inside, I punched the air with joy and did my little triumph dance.

Then. It happened.

Episode 2: Return of the Daniella

My instant thoughts were "Bugger" and my instant words probably would have been the same if the girl hadn't been, not only young but another freaking person.
She hung around my booth.
And sat in my chair (HOW?!?! *does not comprehend*)
And fiddled with pencils.
AND SCRIBBLED IN MY BOOK!
And asked stupid questions, mostly consisting of "Why?"
FOR AN HOUR!
I can't deal with normal, pleasant people for more than 5 minutes if I don't know them, but...but...gah!
At least I had some comfort in knowing this was a regular occurrence for the workers here, and that I was actually quite lucky not to have come across her before. Apparently I dealt rather well with her, which I quietly agreed with, since I could have happily grabbed her ear and frog-marched her over to her mother.
Seriously. Gosh.


Also, on another annoying note, they've dubbed the first season of Hetalia in English and they're releasing it on DVD.
I saw the world conference clip on YouTube, and I am going to STRANGLE whoever cast this thing! If you are a fan, and have not yet seen this monstrosity, search "funimation hetalia" on YouTube and click on the World Conference one. Most of them are region blocked, but there are enough that aren't that make you want to strangle something.
I did find a non-region-blocked version of the one where France interrupts England strangling America, only to insult their uniforms. That one was the only one that made me feel slightly happy, just because of context.
I'm sorry, but the words "when you two are quite finished relieving sexual tension we 'ave a meeting to get on with" in a french accent made me giggle, until I realised he was talking about England and America and that neither of them even commented on the "sexual tension" part and my blood started boiling. You know, France is the only one with a fitting voice in my opinion.
England sounds like a poof, and I'd bet good money on the fact that his voice actor is American and putting on an accent, like most of the others so obviously are.

Okay, rant time over, enjoy your day!

-A rather dishevelled Hannah

Leviathan - Scott Westerfeld

Blurb:
TWO OPPOSING FORCES ON THE BRINK OF WAR

The Clankers, who put their faith in machinery, are squaring up to the Darwinists, who have begun evolving living creatures into tools.

Price Aleksander, the would-be heir to the Austro-Hungarian throne, comes from a family of Clankers, and travels the country in a walker, a heavily-fortified tank on legs.

Deryn Sharp, a girl disguised as a boy, works for the British Empire, crewing an airship made of living animals - the ultimate flying machine.

Now, as Alek runs from his own people, and Deryn crash-lands in enemy territory, their lives are about to collide...

I'm sorry, but if that blurb didn't grab you, you're nuts.
So I bought this book earlier this week, along with the third Hitchhiker's. I started reading it a couple of hours ago because I finished H2G23. I'm already a third of the way through and I am LOVING IT! It's brilliant!

Okay, I'm not going to tell you exactly what happens, but here's a run down:
Basically, the run up to World War 1, only in an alternate universe with only slightly edited events and crazy-contraptions everywhere!
Well, so far it's the run up, Archduke Franz Ferdinand (though I don't think his name is specified so far) and his wife Sophie have been killed in Sarajevo. Austro-Hungary, Germany, Russia and Serbia have already been drawn into war so far.

But it's really creative, the contraptions they get around in, the storyline and the amazing illustrations courtesy of Keith Thompson! Normally books aimed at this age group don't have images as such, but this time I think they're good; they help you envision the mechanics of everything, the characters and settings but there is still plenty to imagine and in fact helps you imagine the movement of everything and keeps the story moving somehow. I think they're useful because of the irregularity of the things in this book and the illustrations make sure you're not envisioning something completely wrong and getting confused later on.

I think it's a brilliant book, and it's been out over a year now so if you don't fancy buying it then you should borrow it from a local library. It's about adventure and action, not history, so you don't need to know exactly how the world war panned out and whatnot. It's so fast flowing I barely realised I'd read 150 pages already, and when I told myself to read to the end of the page I ended up at the end of the chapter! So worth a try, definitely!

-Hannah

PS. I searched the net for the book and I found the website. IT'S GONNA BE A SERIES SOON! Book 2 comes out the 5th of October! *dances* Sweetness!
Also, here is a link to the web page --> http://scottwesterfeld.com/blog/books/leviathan/

New Definition for "English Summer" please? 'Kthx

URGH! It's raining again!

I know it's England and it's a wet country, but seriously? It's the middle of freaking August!
It's been a very wet week this week, nothing but rain... and I swear I just heard thunder...
This summer has had basically no sun at all apart from a couple of weeks before school ended. Now there is nothing but rain rain RAIN!

And I think my dog just started barking at it.

-Hannah

P.S. English summers, at least in the south, are normally quite warm. So there.

Arthur Black - Because You're Worth It

Arthur on a lovely Sunday Morning XD
I originally posted this on deviantArt in Sepia, but since then I have added glasses because I realised how much it looked like him and removed the failish background shading.

And this is a far more ruffled Arthur who has just had his favourite stick stolen from him by Jasper who didn't appreciate being poked in the back. (Talk about exchanging of roles >.>)

I like second Arthur XD

-Hannah

Why O' Why Did the Little Rabbit Die?

...The Little Rabbit died because his house was on fire. *musical note*

Just a little thought for the day.

Have a super special awesome one?

-Hannah

P.S. Can I just ask, has anyone ever watched the Yugioh abridged series?
Because if you haven't, you should search it on YouTube.
It's funny.
Why?
Because shut up.

National Express

There is something I've realised recently about National Express coaches.

They are probably better if you spend the majority of your time on the unconscious. They are most likely even better if you spend the entire time unconscious.

Don't get me wrong, the coaches aren't exactly 53 or so mismatched wooden chairs strapped to the floor with bungee cords on top of a plywood floor with no sides, but this coach was even less comfortable to sit on than your average London bus during rush hour (and I know how bad that can be).
So, not great.

So don't believe any crap they might advertise about it being an incredibly relaxing experience for everyone who is sober or conscious. Unless you enjoy being miserable (which is, in itself, a paradox).

Let me tell you where I'm coming from here:
Leg room.The designers on this coach must believe that the population of England have legs no thicker than pine-needles, or at least that if squished into a small space they will mould to fit the shape like putty or what not.
Coupled to the fact that moving means you will be digging your knee caps into the back of the person in front of you, the seat recline a staggering distance of half an inch. Perfect for an over night journey.


But I guess the experience wasn't all there fault. It is difficult to tell who the annoying people will be before they get on the coach, and they can hardly refuse them transport.
Just an example: There was a woman sitting across from me. It was the middle of the night, and the only light was coming from the blue safety lights above us (don't get me wrong, I could read a bloody book by that light - any hope of sleeping meant pulling my hood over my head and halfway down my face - but every colour was distorted slightly). She pulled something from her bag in a white wrapper and began to eat, but my tired and disoriented mind couldn't tell what it was. So my mind gave up on image recognition and tried to assess the situation using smell alone.
Problem was, all I could smell was the woman's soapy-perfume she had used in order to mask the fact she smoked, cigarette smoke (yeah, redundant perfume FTW) and the recently flushed toilet (which only seemed to smell AFTER you flushed it?).
So I assumed she was eating some sort of lightly smoke scented soap that she'd accidently dropped in the toilet bowl but had decided "it's still good, I can eat it".

As if I didn't already feel sick enough.

Another thing I learned from my journey:

If Hannah sits upright on a coach for more than 5 hours - even if she regularly uses the toilet at service stations or indeed the back of the coach - her stomach insists on attempting gymnastics every 5 seconds. And also her rear end goes numb even if she stands up for five minutes.

-Hannah

P.S. I think I'm going to have to start some sort of blog with all the things I notice on it, so that I have something to blog about.

Imma do that now.

Kokoro

Okay, so thanks to the magic of deviantArt I have found yet another song I've fallen in love with.
It was created using a Vocaloid and, until now, I had abosolutely NO CLUE what it was.

I thought it was an anime show or something -shot-

(What?! I couldn't be arsed to Wiki it, and they had character designs and names! I didn't know people made characters for voice synthesisers okay?)

After watching this I had to Wiki it, because I was confused.

And now I know what it is --> http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Vocaloid
And here is the song I mentioned (with English subs.) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MKv7cw_Z1P4

I fall deeply in love with sad songs. Or at least songs that make you cry, even if they are kinda happy? Meh.

-Hannah

PS. My favourite Vocaloids so far are Rin and Len, because I said so.